Another season of MTV's "Jersey Shore" has come and gone, and what do we have to show for it? For me: indigestion and a bit of shame from watching a dozen hour-long episodes chronicling an abusive relationship all in the name of entertainment. Unfortunately, there's no simulated Pepto-Bismol to alleviate the discomfort of knowing that there's only more where that came from.
Watching the ups and downs (very low downs) of Sammi and Ronnie's relationship over the last several weeks has been a nightmare in its own right, as we've watched them hurl both venomous words and fists at one another. But it has also been an exercise in just how unconcerned or, at the very worst, unfazed we are by battered women while simultaneously being charmed and even titillated by their male assailants.
Ronnie continues to be famous and well-paid for his role on "Jersey Shore," as well as his endorsement deals with the weight-loss supplement Xenadrine and the Nintendo Wii game "Just Dance 2." There are life-size cardboard cutouts of Ronnie, posters for sale at Spencer Gifts and you can even order his signature drink, "Ron-Ron Juice," at some bars in Seaside Heights and Miami Beach. According to fellow cast mate DJ Pauly D, Ronnie's cocktail of choice is the "root of all evil" and helps you "beat up the beat." Maybe we're supposed to find this comparison cute and funny. I find it frighteningly prophetic.
Ronnie isn't the only misogynistic oaf we've recently celebrated and rewarded in response to his obnoxious and destructive attitude and actions toward women. Let's take a look at a couple of the other "winners," shall we?
Man of the Year nominee No. 1: Charlie Sheen. Sheen has notoriously been accused of alcohol, drug, verbal and physical abuse by his ex-wives and ex-girlfriends and yet, up until a few weeks ago, he was the highest-paid actor on television for his role in America's highest-rated sitcom. Currently, he has over 3 million followers on Twitter and he is about to embark on a cross-country tour, adequately called "Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth." Let's give him a hand!
Man of the Year nominee No. 2: Chris Brown. Brown memorably beat up then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009 and since his arrest for battery, he has slowly but surely been earning back our hearts and dollars. Last week, he took time out of his busy schedule promoting his new album, "F.A.M.E.," to trash a dressing room on the set of "Good Morning America," after host Robin Roberts asked him questions regarding his violent assault on the pop princess. But all is well in Chris Brown land because he (sort of) apologized for his acts of violence. His album of baby-makin' music is the top downloaded album on iTunes and the title stands for "Forgiving All My Enemies."
Some of you probably feel that this derision a bit much, but seriously, how on earth do we justify our amused support of these guys? How did we arrive at this point of blessing men like Ronnie, Sheen and Brown with our forgiveness, attention and funds? On the other hand, maybe we didn't just arrive at this point. Maybe we've been on the same unfortunate path for far too long.
We have to finally admit that our cold and numb acceptance of the despicable things these men, and others like them, have done to the women they claim to love, respect and cherish only further the absurd and offensive notion of "female inferiority." By handsomely rewarding their violent and unapologetic behavior, we are essentially saying, "That's OK, guys. You know what? Those ladies of yours are ‘cray cray,' and they probably deserved it. Here, let me help you through these tough times by buying your crap!"
I'm aware that there's probably a not-so-small faction of people who think that these men have apologized enough or paid their dues. But until we make the effort to turn off programs like "Jersey Shore," ignore tours like Sheen's and shun albums like Brown's, we're nothing but active participants or ignorant bystanders in demoralizing the women who should mean so much to us. I owe more to my mother, sisters and best friend.